Forgetfulness--Professional Piece

Forgetfulness
Billy Collins

The name of the author is the first to go
followed obediently by the title, the plot,
the heartbreaking conclusion, the entire novel
which suddenly becomes one you have never read, never even heard of,

as if, one by one, the memories you used to harbor
decided to retire to the southern hemisphere of the brain,
to a little fishing village where there are no phones.

Long ago you kissed the names of the nine Muses goodbye
and watched the quadratic equation pack its bag,
and even now as you memorize the order of the planets,

something else is slipping away, a state flower perhaps,
the address of an uncle, the capital of Paraguay.

Whatever it is you are struggling to remember
it is not poised at the tip of your tonuge,
not even lurking in some obscure corner of your spleen.

It has floated away down a dark mythological river
whose name begins with an L as far as you can recall,

well on your own way to oblivion where you will join those
who have forgotten how to swim and how to ride a bicycle.

No wonder you rise in the middle of the night
to look up the date of a famous battle in a book on war.
No wonder the moon in the window seems to have drifted
out of a love poem that you used to know by heart.

The first time I read this poem I sort of laughed to myself and thought that it was strange to get up in the middle of the night to look up some fact that no one cares about but really felt a connection to the first part about books and forgetting authors because I do that a lot. The more that I read this poem, the more I am able to connect it to my life. It's in those moments that I wake up in the middle of the night dying to know a fact, or forget the small memories that I feel as if I'm losing myself--drifting into oblivion. I was able to really relate deeply to this poem last year when I first got my concussion and had some pretty serious amnesia. I forgot everything and everyone. I had to completely rebuild my life, my world. I had to reintroduce myself to my friends, my family, but most importantly my ideas and morals. It really meant a lot for me to be able to take a step back from my life and think about not only what I was doing but why I was doing it. Though at times I did feel like i was lost and floating away until the day I would eventually die, it became important to me to figure out who I was and what I stood for. Especially when this meant getting up in the middle of the night to ponder some soul searching question.