Reflective Essay

Brenda Whitten

Mr. Barnes

Honors English III

23 April 2013

Reflective Essay

               Throughout the course of this year, I have grown in multiple ways—both in and out of school. I have gotten more mature, learned how to better lead people, and found some amazing new friends. I have learned about algebra and trigonometry, how to titrate a solution, how to express wishes and desires in Spanish. And English? Well that’s another story. How can I measure my growth in English? The fact that I’ve memorized over 200 vocab words, read some great novels written throughout American history? How do these events affect me personally as a writer?

               In the first big creative piece of this semester, my word sketch, I really worked on keeping a steady and consistent tone which later came back into play in other essays. In one of the first drafts I wrote “a song comes that makes your heart sing with the emotions… notes jumping…and dancing… but  they never get the chance. They are quickly distorted…fall, injured…with a crash of broken pride and lost time. Countless hours spent…just to hear it fall, shattered by a missed partial, crushed by a cracked note. (Whitten n.p.).  This abrupt shift in tone created unnecessary tension and an awkward ending for the piece. I later changed it to an overall happy tone in order to create a solitary sense of accomplishment. This tone change reflected how I felt about the trumpet more than the original clash. Up until I had a writing conference with Mr. Barnes, I didn’t understand just how badly the two sections clashed. I felt as if the piece worked with the sudden change because that was how I felt at times when playing. After further investigation, I came to accept that this change was rare for me to feel and inadequately described to the reader. While revising this piece, the majority of my revisions were focused on maintaining a steady tone and point of view.

               For my personal essay, my revisions focused around maintain a sense of self. I changed the ending to make it more accurate for today, and to really show the reader exactly what I thought of the medicines and their impact on me. While on the medications, I felt different, stuck inside, trapped and I really wanted those feelings to come through. I don’t want to discredit any form of medication especially while taking a different type but I wrote this essay for me to come to terms with something I had struggled with for a while. I never wanted to be the stereotypical girl who talks quietly and wears dresses, I wanted to have fun and I wanted those ideas to be conveyed in the essay. I tried to add a more satisfactory ending by expanding on some of the later ideas about being myself and comfortable with myself now. I also added some alliteration to the end with “contorted through control… grumpy little girl…muffled by a mask” and others (Whitten n.p.). This alliteration helped to develop my diction and stylistic elements without becoming overly cheesy or cognitively stressing.

               For my Hemingway timed write, I really focused on revising some of the simple errors and the end section. I really wanted to explain the difference between nada and everyday life and how nada can was employed as a good thing in Hemingway’s works. I went through and tried to clarify some of the arguments I had made in that essay as well as clean up the ending section. I really focused on how Hemingway is subtle with the use of the idea of nada. He repeats nada so often that it almost becomes nothing to read. The word itself can be associated with a lack of meaning—exactly what Hemingway wanted. Yet, as the reader walks away, they can’t help but to wonder about nada, how nada would feel, what nada would do to impact their lives. I wanted to communicate that nada is used as a form of protection from things that are able to hurt us, and therefore usually is only achieved after some form of dramatic experience.

               Throughout English 3, I feel as if the hardest thing for me to do was to edit my essays. I either didn’t allow myself enough time to edit them on multiple days at multiple times, or I would edit too quickly and end up ignoring major details. With my creative pieces, I often viewed them as good or good enough. It was very hard for me to edit them which was why coming back several months later it is easier to change my writing when looking at it through new, slightly more experienced eyes.

               Another difficult concept I have yet to master is to determine my topic and stick with it. I have improved at finding a thesis and writing one into my work, however my thesis is not a guiding force for my paper. It is only a jumping off point. I often write paragraphs that don’t connect to the thesis or end a paragraph with a new thought that I never go back and elaborate on. While some of this comes from my ADHD, it is in no way a valid excuse for any of the choices made, or not made, in my writing.

               Throughout my junior year in high school, I have learned many things and also kept quite a few things the same. I have definitely made improvements in my writing, however many other problems remain untreated and not acknowledged. While I wish I was a better writer, I know that I have some problems that I need to address on the way to get there. I am currently confident in my ability to write a creative piece, and hope that I will continue to enhance my ability to write an effective analytical or argumentative piece.